A V E N U E O F L O V E

Chinese New Year 2012

2012-01-29T18:51:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! Laughs, I know I haven't been blogging because I damn lazy. Okay I know damn pig but I can't be bothered to because my life damn boring.

Currently rotting in school now because there's nothing to do at all! And guess what? I'm playing pokemon, yes I kinda figured that I really need a life. So how has everyone cny been? How are the angpows collection this year? Haha.

Haven't been lucky lately considering that I've lost like 2 days in a row! My gosh! Went Songwei's place yesterday to hang with seeling, sw, jona & young. Was pretty fun. My reaction when i went there was epic. Cause his condo was located at some ulu terraces place. So i was thinking like EH HE STAY BIG BIG HOUSE AH! Only to realise his condo is located among the terrace, DIAOOOOO!

Meeting young & amanda later at Bishan, woah. I actually just wants school to end soon. I have no idea why the hell am I here actually. Not even doing anything. Just here to connect some cables and nua. I'm still considering if it will be okay if I just fail this and get better grades for the rest. Aikes, this is really pissing.

Okay, back to pokemon now! BYE! Will blog soon, I PROMISE!

I won't give up

2012-01-12T06:23:00.000-08:00

Hello! Okay, making the effort to blog even when sometimes I have no mood or nothing to blog. Been MC-ing lately and finally going back to school tomorrow. Excited? Hmm not really. I swear I feel I am wasting my time in school. But fuck, I'm leaving in a couple of weeks so just tolerate till it's over. Anyway school fees has been paid for already and if I didn't go, that would be a big waste of money too.

So what have I been doing lately? Simple, wake up eat sleep then meet Nicholas, continue sleeping and the cycle repeats. Oh not forgetting the fact that I am eating like a freaking pig. Yes I've put on so much weight I'm afraid to look at myself. Don't even have the gut to weigh myself to see how much I've gain.

OKAY! I know I very whiny but you people need to know it's not easy being a girl okay! You are either too fat or too short, and as for me I'm both fat & short which equals to I'm practically hopeless. I really need to lose some weight before the fat starts showing itself more.

Suggestions to losing weight people? Just facebook me, tweet me or sms/whatsapp/call me. ANYTHING! I just need help. Tired of being fat. I'm fine with being short, it's pretty cute sometimes. Okay, self praising. I need a life.

Hmm I haven't been really feeling that happy or cheerful lately but thank God for friends & love ones. Nicholas has been a dear lately. Thankful for everything.

Although it's friday the thirteenth tomorrow, I hope that as the days pass, everything will get better, everyone will be happier.

It was never meant to be like this

2012-01-09T16:39:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna be an honest girl right now. I am not having the time of my life rn and I definitely am not happy. In fact, I'm dying a little more everyday. Sometimes you have to go through such extreme pain to know what life is all about.

This one month has been the most torturous for me. I am faced up with people that I have to disappoint and a lot more. Let's just say, it's a very crucial period of my life that I've to learn to know how to face situation that may be life threatening and very hurtful emotionally to me and the people around me.

To think that I'm only seventeen, I feel that I've gone through enough at this age. And what I really do hope that a rocky start means a brighter future for me.

P.S./ everyone like so lazy to blog nowadays and everyone is vlogging. Might be doing it too cause I wanna keep my blog alive eh.

Tragedy strikes & all you can do is watch

2012-01-08T07:06:00.000-08:00

Okay I had a really bad start to this year but I really don't wish to elaborate any further cause thinking about it kills me bad enough. But after I'm all over with this, I really just wanna live my life to the fullest. It hard to feel happy or fine in fact, but all these shit is just part and parcel of life.

Never in my seventeen years of life did I imagine a life so tough. I really hate the fact that I was brainwashed by fairytales, where all bad things just fade off in a couple of hours or days, then boom, happily ever after. What is the invention of fairytales for? To give us a harder time to face the real world when we grow up? It's crap, seriously.

Well, stop being negative. On the bright side, I'm leaving RP for good. Yes, it's confirmed. No more RP and stupid programming, really just gonna focus on being best friend with my calculator and read numbers like they are my own kids.

I'm not really prepared for the nightmare, but I would rather suffer going through numbers than coding. Math beats programming hands-down.

& Big Thanks To My Nicky Young

In this whole journey, I've been cranky and screaming my head off at him. But he stayed on and on till today. Lately, my mood has been way worse and he stood by me still, making me smile even when I'm always there to make sure he is lack of sleep and broke as hell. This boy have proven himself to be my man and I'm very thankful for that.

Who knows what is prepared for us in future but I do hope we would stay strong and pull through. No more drama, just you and me.

Thank you love

2012-01-02T20:42:00.000-08:00

In school now, bored as hell and I really just want to go home. After giving it much thoughts, I'm really thinking of leaving Republic Polytechnic for good. Yes the friends are fun, the classes are entertaining at times. But the routine life & the modules are not what I want. I mean, I would rather suffer doing something I want to pursue in.

So giving it much thought, I think I'm going to talk to my cousin and see if talking to my mum about this would be worth it or not. Bottom line, I just really dislike how I am wasting time in Republic Polytechnic. I have no idea how is programming (Java codes) have anything to do with what I'll be doing in future. So I really have no idea why I'm still here. Hoping that my talk with my mum will work out. Wishing that for once they'll understand what I'm going through and maybe help me through it.

Okay, not gonna crap about stupid school stuff for the entire post, I'll probably bore you all to sleep anyway. So yeah, let's talk about something else. Lately, nicky has been a very sweet baby. Been pms-ing really badly and whining like a baby ad my darling boy has been super nice by cheering me up instead of pms-ing on me too! Great change from him since last year.

Yes, I'm pretty confident about fulfilling this year new year resolution of a peaceful & happy relationship with young! Super happy (: BUT I have this feeling that he wouldn't make it to my school in time to fetch me later. So I'll probably be the one going to find him instead. Waiting for his blinking lights on my blackberry to appear so I can make sure he won't be late later!

I actually have a lot of things to post about but apparently after watching a video of aaron tan & steven lim what ever inspiration I have to post like suddenly disappear. I'm a singaporean myself, and I honestly feel super disgrace by people like them. And to think that this idiot, Steven Lim, has appeared on televisions & has the cheek to make music videos. Wow, really.

To think that youtube is also a worldwide thing, so yeah times infinite embarrassment to Singapore. With all the shitty things happening in Singapore, plus all these weirdo. Our reputation would drop like mad. Let's hope Singapore would do something about all of these soon.

I'm dead tired, shall stop ranting, whining or whatever. Napping time!

This is what we call life

2012-01-02T07:51:00.000-08:00

Worried about thing i shouldn't be. Sometimes I wish i could be worry free. Being a kid feels way better, all you have to worry about is what is mummy going to cook for me later or what time is playtime. Why do we have to grow up so fast and face the world. Nobody gave us a heads up that the society would be screwed, nobody told us we have to go through hell to reach heaven.

Why were we brought up through happiness when we'll face hell soon enough. Well, this is what people call life. Where bitterness kicks in first then you enjoy the glory. But it isn't fair is it? Why is it some don't even have to try. Yet some have to go through crazy much to enjoy.

Well, I guess nobody's perfect, those that were brought up with everything they want would never know what life is. And those that were brought of with nothing would never know what it feels like to have everything in front of you.

I'm just going through a stepping stone in life but I wish to end it so fast. Nobody said it would be so tiring but what the heck, I'm halfway there. Let's continue, it's life after all.

So during every start of the year, there would always be a time for new year resolution. Though i never fail to forget them, having them still don't kill right. Here comes my list:
1. Be closer with daddy God. (Need to stop backsliding, doesn't mean I don't go to church means I shouldn't pray too.)
2. Have a great relationship and go through everything with maturity (Big no no to dramas please.)
3. To finish RP as soon as possible and get out of there. (It contributes shit loads to what I call hell.)
4. To continue living a life I'm comfortable with and confident to call it my own.
5. Visit my dear aunt more (Okay, i really love her to bits.)
6. Get myself organized then get a dog as companion (I'm damn bored at home.)
7. Stop all rivalry with anyone I have (I'm just really tired.)
8. Be everything I can to make anyone who is close to me happy.
9. Learn to save money. (I'm really needing this.)
*10. Always be happy. (I live my life for myself, so i guess that most important after all.)

Let's just keep it at ten this year. There's a lot for me already. I'm gonna try to make it happen this year. Gonna make a list. I don't want to waste my life away and start regretting like a fool again, been there done that.

Yes, tomorrow would be the start of the last term for year 1. Happy? Yes. Sad? Yes. Why? Cause I'm not prepared for what's ahead. Considering I'm already dying in year one with all the programming and networking, I'm terrified of what I have to face in year 2. But nonetheless, I'm gonna give it my best shot to complete this year without repeating. Praying hard.

That's all for today, gonna have my late night snacks and get ready for hell tomorrow. Goodnights!

Happiness is key

2011-12-23T08:48:00.000-08:00

Bless in the name of the Lord, may love be on it's way to me. For I shall not ask for much, just happiness with the ones I love this christmas.

I may not have been a good girl dear santa, but everyone do deserve a chance. So for love, I hope i get mine, to to find happiness once more.

Once again, I shall say, I don't ask for much this christmas, just to be happy with the ones I love - God, family, friends & Nicholas Young,

Bless me, bless all. Happy Merry Christmas Eve.

xoxo.

Daddy God,
I wish for nothing much this year, just a little more happiness in my life dear Lord. I promise to be good, i promise to be me. The year is coming to an end, and this time i wish for it to be the best. Smiles & laughter and if there is to be tears, let it be tears of joy oh Lord. Amen.

Long But Worthy

2011-12-22T08:55:00.000-08:00

Finally ended a super long day with nick (: Haha, thank God he has finally come to a stop from travelling anywhere to do some missionary work. Now he's all mine till the rest of my holiday ends.

It's been a super long day today & i'm super exhausted. Slept at bloody 5am for no apparent reason. Usually this happens only when i'm effing excited about something, but i don't know what was so exciting that i couldn't sleep! So guess what i do the entire night? I freaking stared at winnie while she's sleeping like a pig. And finally fell asleep but woke up late to meet nick cause stupid winnie forgotten to wake me up, need to bitch slap her x100.

Rushed like a pig and left the house to cab over to nick's place. Thank God he wasn't awake when i got the so i passed! Not counted as late! YAY! But tired as ever, not enough sleep + hungry like pig = super grumpy me. But i manage to hide my grumpiness and moodswing (:

Then arcade with nick & zhiyong. Then training with baby. Played with cordelia and laughed like mad girl. Well, that pretty much led me to feeling so piggy now. Feel like dying on my bed.

One thing for sure is, I'll definitely sleep before winnie does today. No doubt. TOO TIRED.

Okay, gonna catch cars 2 with winnie on skype now & sleep halfway through, xoxo.

No Regrets

2011-12-19T04:17:00.000-08:00

It has been a long long time since i last updated my blog! So i guess it's time to revive the blog. Do a little editting to my background of the blog and start trying and remembering to post everyday if possible.

Well, lately i've been taking off a lot of my time doing covers. I did my first mash up too! Did it together with my childhood buddy, Winnie. Spent a lot of time doing just two cover. And since christmas is coming soon, i'm going to flood my facebook page & blog with all my new christmas cover.

Ohmygosh, one year has passed by so fast. And i must say, it has been one hella tough year but I'm always looking for a good year in future (: Last year christmas eve was hell, so i'm going to enjoy myself this year!

Been very close with daddy God lately, talking to Him almost everyday. Sometimes i feel a sense of relief while talking to Him. Not trying to pshyco anyone into believing in my beliefs but i used to be so obsessed with the fact that I must have that someone in my life.

But talking to Him, changes everything. Right now, i just want the person I love to be happy. Even if someone gives up on me, I want to know that i've tried my best and gave everything I could. For once in my life, i wish to live my life with no regrets.

So right now, this is how i'm going to live my life.

P.S./ And i miss Nicholas very much! Worst, i'm sick & i can't go out much anymore. Just when christmas is about to arrive i fall sick. What a killer! :'(

xoxo.

Incomparable

2011-10-18T18:27:00.000-07:00

Such patience, such generosity, she's nothing like her. She wishes she could be better everyday, but she could never be like her. She looks at her and used two words to describe her, "perfect lover" wondering, why he let her go for someone like her. He has the choice to choose between someone nobody wants and someone that everyone wished for. And she wonders why he picked her? She could only try and keep trying to be her but never able to achieve it. Torturing herself thinking she was a lousy lover because she was not able to compare to her.

Wish You Were Never Born

2011-10-18T18:25:00.000-07:00

I never hated someone so much for so bloody long. Seriously, this guy here is fucked up.

Which loser shoots girls till blue black? Well he does. I wish he died. He thinks that he is so POPULAR just because he hangs with the cool kids. Spouting vulgarities like nobody business. Coming in class thinking he's the boss.

Don't anyhow throw thing, not happy? Stay home, nobody owes you a shitty living. Test my patience more, i confirm give you one rabak. I mean what I'm saying right now. Don't hit my limit. I tolerated your bullshit long enough.

Just Another Day.

2011-10-11T18:03:00.000-07:00

School is boring as hell. Really hate coming to school. Ugh! It's only like the second week of school i'm already dreading to leave my bed and come. I have no idea why i'm so tired. Stoned the whole journey to school.

I dont really have anything to write, im just trying to keep the blog alive. Sighs, bored as hell. Introduction of communication = another shitty & boring day.

Okay, shutting up now. Too tired to type anything.

Boredem strikes.

2011-10-06T22:17:00.000-07:00

Currently rotting in class. Today super uber slack eh. Dave & I like clueless of what to do today so we like worthless pieces of crap now. Ohmygosh, not on form lately eh. No feel for school. I miss my E26N sweeties. Use to entertain ourselves with all sorts of nonsense.

Was reminded of Lorraine's incident of going inside wrong class and laughed like mad yesterday. Need to maintain! *flashback* She went into the wrong class and turned on the light for them. End up, she realised she walked in to the wrong class so she went out. BUT the funny part is she went back in and on the light for them again! Joker.

Then when I was in the lift with JingWen, i remembered how we used to roared when the lift door opens ignorant of who is outside. And how we always press the wrong button. Something about the level four is so lovable that we would always press by accident.

Haha, I miss that sweet class that I used to have. Though it's a different class now, I do hope we bond too. With a class full of entertaining people, it should be fun ba (:

Alrights that's about it! Shall go back to rotting before my facilitator comes back into class. Shall just rot or camwhore even more. Lol, signing off!!!!

Losing it.

2011-10-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Back home from baby's place. Feeling as crappy as ever. No mood for anything. Just feel like shit. I don't even have the mood to go out, seriously. Hating life x infinity now. i need something to do, I feel like damn sians lately. Sighs.

Part of me feel like giving up on some things in life, because I feel like I'm no longer needed or anything. So like, what's the point? A life without expectations is meaningless, and a life with expectations leads to disappointment. So how the hell am I suppose to live? Complicated bullshit.

Use to dream of having the best wedding on Earth with you, but right now. Even having a wedding with you seem difficult. I don't know if you can continue leaving like this and neither can I. I want you to want me, y'know? Sighs, shan't talk about it already. Signing off. Bye.

Away from home.

2011-09-30T04:08:00.000-07:00

Okay! Quick posing before I leave my place! I'm heading over to young's place to stay over for the next day. That big fat pig of mine is sick, stupid seventeen years old boy has a body of a seventy years old man. LOL.

Alright, nothing much done today actually. Went down to get some stuff, packed my room and then rotted on my bed to watch CSI. Although CSI is scary shit, with the disgusting body, it's surprisingly addictive! Okay, super short post. I'm gonna leave the house now!

Miss me everybody!!!! (:

New Beginning.

2011-09-29T09:31:00.000-07:00

Bloody pissed off! Ohmygosh, I can't find a picture that fits what i want to put as my blog pictures. This means it's about time to camwhore more now. Tried finding pictures of me and young but the effect wasn't to my liking. While using pictures taken with friends, either my face cocked up, or my friends. So yes, i have a problem finding a nice picture.

Okay, new blog. Gonna try to blog more often and entertain myself in class. I'm finding a lot of back up plan to make sure I won't fall asleep in class. Need to buck up, gpa is fucked and so is my grade. Though i passed, everything not up to standard.

I went through my modules for next semester, and I saw something I wish I can never take again. P.R.O.G.R.A.M.M.I.N.G. I thought I was done with that, i was wrong obviously. Ugh, suddenly not so looking forward to school. Suppose to go school looking forward to a new start with new classmates but NOOOO bloody programming and someone. Okay, shan't talk about that, it ruins my mood more.

So it's been ten days since me and young's first anniversary passed. After super duper long, i finally made the effort to make something nice for him. But a bit ruined, there were pencil lines cause I can't write in a straight line *embarrassed* and plus, I gave up writing and turn to technology while making the main card.

Ignore the fat legs and lousy camera (I took it with my phone) Not bad right? Behind every picture is a piece of our past. Actually I was planning to make 9 pictures in total but 3 got bended and torn, Got pissed and just gave him six. I feel bloody bad now. Forgive me k sweetie? I'll put more effort in our second anniversary present. (:

Okay, it's 12:28 AM, tomorrow young coming over to help me out in packing this piece of crap room I have. School starting on Wednesday. How prepared am I? Not at all, i'm just preparing to go school for fashion show. Haha, focus more on what I wear than what I study. Okay, damn fail. Shall stop posting here now (: First blog post accomplished!