I want you back

It's at times like this where I miss you most. We may not meet up often we may be quarrelling most of the time but without you around, that spark seemed to die off. There's no one to replace that 2 years relationship we built up, no one would ever be able to quarrel with me like you do, NO ONE.
I really hate that I have to spend one month alone wondering if you are sleeping well, eating well and if anyone is bullying you. Part of me hates you so much for doing silly things and leaving me out here and part of me just worries sick. I guess when we said in the past that we have to go through every obstacles together, this was the big one that caught us by surprise.
Day two and i'm already crying like mad here wishing i could do something to change all these but who am I? I'm just your girlfriend I can't make anything miraculously happen. Everyone wishes that you become someone better when you come back out but all I really wish for is you out here with me. Good or bad, it doesnt matter. Just need you here with me, through everything.
And i dont know if i'm just pure unlucky and this is a test for me but people dont usually ask about you but after something like this happen, i see people who are close to you or people just start asking where are you. I have to lie i have to pretend, but this is the worst lie and the worst fake smile i ever have to put up.
I didnt really give you much but just a big head after this relationship began, and i know that myself. I definitely cant undo no shit but well, i want you to have a happier and enjoyable life when youre our. I'll do what i promise to do for you before you come out and of course, though it's a little late, we're still gonna celebrate our 2 years anniversary.
I'm gonna say this once, dont you ever dare miss out on our anniversary again, i will slaughter you. Yes Nicholas Young Hoong Pan, i'm sending you a death threat. You better keep that in mind!

I love you, and you always knew that. But you dont know, that i'll love you for life (:

P.S. I'm still angry at you because you're missing out on our second anniversary asshole.

Life's A Routine

Omg! I really feel like my entire life is a routine, work then go home and the cycle goes on and on. Sometimes kind of regretted like telling Ben (My oh-so-friendly operating manager) that I wanna work till september. I rather work part time )': go whenever I want at least I have like a little time to breathe and not work every single day.

Is like whenever someone asks me, eh what's your plan for tomorrow or, wanna club tonight. My answer lately has always been, working or, can't stay up late working tomorrow. Sighs, work & sleep equals no social life. Work & social life equals no sleep.

So lately, I've decided maybe being a nerd would be better. Shall stay home and stare at my computer all day long.

Let's just start off by saying. I've have started to play my childhood game again - Maplestory. Haha! Okay okay, I have a lot to tell you guys! Like shit loads! You know how boring and lame Maple was when we were young? LOL. Now it's like a whole new thing! Got animations and a lot of cool stuff. I still remembered I could never ever hit level 70 in Maple last time without cash or like 2x-exp events and MOST of the time I'm the forever alone kid with no mesos, no maple items and of course no friends (Just some nerd primary school friends - Jethro)

But now it's a total different story I can level up to freaking 50 within one or two day NO PROBLEM. And I've only started playing for the second day and HELLO I have close to twenty maple items. Hahaahahh! The game changed so much it's shocking! LOL.

They have a lot of character now too! I'm playing the newest one! Last time there was like archer, mage, warrior and theif (The basics in all this kinda games) But now, there's mechanic (You sit on a fucking robot and move) and also my previous character before this (I ride on a freaking jaguar!) And those are already counted old! They freaking have demon slayer, cannon shooter and the one I'm playing mercedes! Like mad fuck cool right! So basically cannon shooter holds a cannon and mercedes holds a dual gunbow. MAD FUCK COOL. I don't know what demon slayer has cause I never really go read about it but I know all cool can already la!

Okay enough nerd talk! I'm gonna nua outside now since there's clearly nothing to do. I shall cool off from maple for awhile cause I have been rotting at home the whole entire day. LOLOLOL. Okay! I shall re-edit the post with pictures if I can find. LOL.

If not I'll prolly just go home and play maple then nua at work tomorrow. Sighs, I wanna go on strike. Work is a chore. I wanna go home and play maple. Hahaha! OMG, thanks to joyce I think I'm a maple-addict! :x OKAY MAINTAIN.

Goodbye people, blog when I'm free which I don't know when it'll be. Hahahah! Love, xoxo.

Barricade

Hi, I'm back. I have a topic that I'm so very excited to blog about this particular person that have been getting popularity for pushing an old lady down the bus, Alex Ong. I'm pretty sure everyone know what he did already and I've only to know that it was because of the 76 years-old lady pressing the bus bell at the very last minute. Never seen what a commotion he made? No worries, I'm delighted to show you.

So clearly you guys know what this asshole did right? He literally just pushed the elderly off the bus. Really, I am speechless when I saw that. I really wish that God put me in that bus at that very moment, I wouldn't be so nice and just tell him off. I will walk up to him and punch him straight in the face. Even if I get in trouble for doing that it will be worth it. 

First he wanted to slap the old lady which I couldn't tell. I was like what the hell is he going to do? 

Seriously, to look into an elderly's eye and still have the heart to want to slap her and bloody hell push her, this guy be it mentally sick or not, has no heart at all. Really. 

After this part he just bloody pushed the lady down. There was a lot of things I was furious with is:

a) Y U PEOPLE ON THE BUS NO WHACK HIM!?

b) The person who took this video was some guy from NewPaper, I mean I know you feel really good that you've gotten a chance to get such an awesome story but hello, how can you sit there so calmly when you see an elderly getting pushed down. (At that point of time when she got pushed, I was already fuming with rage, cursing & swearing at the laptop as it I was there) 

c) Y BUS UNCLE STILL LET HIM STAY ON THE BUS!? If I were the bus driver, call the police on the spot get him arrested instantly. 

d) This loser defending himself with mental illnesses. Go jump down the building or something, DON'T HURT INNOCENT ELDERLY PLEASE.

Really super pissed off with this asshole. I'm typing so hard on the keyboard I think it's gonna break too. And he still have the cheek to bloody defend himself with mental illness. If I'm not wrong, it's autism. 

He still have the cheek to say publicly that..

Bloody asshole. Really no need face, go let the dogs eat better. 

Still got the bloody cheek by indirectly saying like it was her who "kind of" started it. Really, when I read all these, wanna ask God to send him straight to hell. Let all the devil punish him. Light push my ass! Light push will fall with injuries? So if I was pissed I should go around pushing people? LOL, then i guess you'll see people lying all over Singapore cause everyone would be pushing everyone. 

Why not we all just push ourselves down buses, cool trend eh. 

And you said you had autism, like seriously. YOU THINK WE SINGAPORE STUPID? I'll show you the symptoms someone suffering from autism should have.

If you ask me I don't see anything about pushing elderly down the bus. Either you are trying to be a wimp and hide your fault with mental illnesses or wiki has a problem (which I highly doubt so) 

Then you changed your story to how pathetically you were treated in Secondary School and army. And the way you talk, doesn't seem apologetic at all, sorry if I'm being too straightforward but I really feel this way. I bet you were treated badly in the past because you were an asshole since then.

So if you think saying a sorry would change what you did, well you're damn wrong. Why not I push you down now & just say I'm sorry. 

Alex Ong, I can't wait for you to be punished. It's a disgrace I have the same surname as you. Still posting shit indirectly blaming the old lady. Stop being more of a disgrace that you already are. 

Let's all get depression and push people off buses and all we got to do is apologize like as if we were so damn sorry but still indirectly blaming the other party. Then come up with excuses like I was an abused child. 

Okay, I believe the post is long enough. So shall blog another time. Anyway I'm back doing covers so do check me out on youtube by searching CherylEscadaMusic your comments and feedbacks are appreciated be it good or bad! 

Like my facebook page @ Cheryl Escada Ong too! Much love and let's stop pushing people off buses. SAY NO TO ALEX ONG! (: 

xoxo.

What goes around comes around

Okay I'm blogging with my iPad now because I ain't going home tonight because I hate how unreasonable my dad can be.

So yes back here to rant. The problem is, today when my mum fetched me to work she told me that she will tell my dad to come over to pick me up from work since I'm going to end really late so that when he picked me I won't have to go home very late. So when I was near ending time, I gave him a call not knowing that it was my phone that is causing problem so I called several times before realising my phone had no reception so I moved myself and called again and asked him nicely and again this asshole fucking scolded me. Then fucking say till like I fucking only think for myself. If you don't want me to go out bloody hell just tell me you want me stay home. No need to add so much oil to the fire. And furthermore you complained to mum as if it was my fault. Seriously you only think for yourself and think you fucking awesome. Too bad man, you're far from it you're just pure arrogant. Trust me dude I'm not the only one saying it.

And okay Cheryl is having problems with Tingli and I would like to ask everyone what do you think of this. This child play is driving me mad la k. So this girl name Tingli decided to leave her things with Cheryl to sell but want to take back last minute. And she expect Cheryl to go her house again to pass to her which I think too ridiculous. Then this Tingli tell me neverminds, lot one but the thing is still far for Cheryl so I gave her a choice bukit panjang since its so close to lot one like five ten minutes can reach already she say she got curfew and she stays at bukit batok so being nice and understanding I told her k lo leave at my house then she use the curfew reason again and started being rude. Fuck I dont know why people grow their brains on butt nowadays. Seriously as a friend of hers I believe you guys know where is bukit batok lot one and bukit timah right? So can you please teach her before bringing up gangster stuff to talk. Really what is happening to the world.

Okay shall stop ranting, gonna chillz and spend the night with baby!

So near yet so far

Hello! Haven't blogged cause I barely had the time to even used the comp super exhausted from work and I need a break ASAP!

So lately I've been really busy with work and also with frequent hospital visit to meet my grandpa, thank God he doing so well compared to before. And hopefully in time he will be my healthy grandpa again. Sigh only the first month of work and I'm dead tired! Feel like a weaklinggggg!!

Things has been going great with slutty young too! Happy together and no distraction from anyone or anything haha!

Well I think in reaching my stop already! I shall blog when I'm free! Of course, I'll feel the post with pictures too! And I think in going to start doing covers with iPad! I tried it out it was pretty good so ya think I'm just going to use it!

Make a chance

Guess what! Hahah, I'm posting on the bus with an iPad now. So bloody bored and so bloody lazy to get to work but I need money so desperately. And the downside to this entire bullshit is that I have to work for the entire week straight with no off days, is like killing me mentally y'know!

Ugh! Work is killer, I honestly can't wait for school to start and I'm always a sucker for new environment. Haha learn new things and I really have the feel to be a nerd! Hehe!

Okay so lately it has been tiring for me! Before work visit grandpa, after work visit grandpa or find baby. Is like I haven't had a chance to really sit down and think about story of my life for even one second! Never been so busy in my life before. Hahahaha need a break like now!

Okay I'm reaching my stop! Shall edit the blog post later or just create a new one! Buh-bye

I wish people could see with their heart

Finally saw young today. But it sure didn't feel right at all. I feel that recently whatever I do, I am never ever good enough for anyone, be it family or friends. And it's like.. no one really understands how much pain I'm going through and how much of a break I really need and how much appreciation I would show if someone could at least think for me for once. I'm pretty tired to be seen as the bad guy, as the heartless monster.

I swear, right now, I feel everything I do, FOREVER WRONG.

1. Visit my grandpa late - I don't give no shit about him.
2. Trying to understand that my boyf still need his friends - Get fucked by his mum.
3. Trying to help boyf's parents lessen their stress - Get fucked by boyf.
4. Worried for boyf - Ask to ignore (If we were together for a few days, maybe it's possible, but a year plus? Asking me to ignore is like asking me to dig my grave for myself and bury myself alive)
5. Decided to hide how I feel so people worry less - Being fake.
6. Thinking quietly so that even though it hurts, nobody know - Caught stoning, get fucked.

Fuck this piece of pangsai man, what does the fugging world want from me? Nowadays, I feel like I'm not wanted anywhere. Go where, confirm got something I do or say is definitely wrong. So yes, I've concluded that every single person's life would be so much happier without me. Really, I'm useless everywhere I go, my self-esteem has drop from a hundred to ground zero.

Sighing every five minutes trying to figure a way out for me. How the hell is it possible to make everyfuckingone happy and keep myself happy too? It's like pick one & there's no other choice. Sometimes I really wanna tell the world to go fuck themselves. And this is what people call life? These are call obstacles? Wow, wouldn't it be great if shits called obstacles were lessen and maybe a little more happiness? Oh wait, but in fairytales, it's always happily ever after. So I assumed that the "after" in fairytales means death in real life. Because to be very honest, if that was the effing case, I would've killed myself the moment I was born.

I really don't get it, we can't commit suicide because it lead us to hell. There's no other way but to feed yourself with shit and pass away then you go to heaven and enjoy. So what is these shit eating session for? Life lesson? I sure as hell didn't learn anything but knowing and wanting to pass away sooner, better yet eat all the crap and die of some shit heart attack and pass away, NATURAL DEATH ALSO WHAT!

Pissed with life.