Yes, back blogging. Trying my hardest to make the blog come alive again. I find my life pretty boring and depressed really. Working my ass off since 10:30 am - 9:30 pm and my sales is still like shit. Nobody fugging steps into the shop at all. There's practically not a single soul in sight. Now you know how desperate I was to make my sales go higher. Furthermore, more sales equals more money ($$$!) So I'm so bloody desperate but still no luck.
After many failed attempts of pshyco-ing people to buy something, Siti & I decided to end our misery, closed the shop early and headed over to pasir panjang for dinner with my parents if not somebody is gonna scold me for not eating again. Was too damn tired so I slept during my break, didn't even give a damn if people was looking a not, LOL.
Back home after that feeling as shitty as usual. Grandpa still hanging on to his dear life while I'm at home missing him. Kind of pissed off that people think that I literally give no shit about him. The thing is I have a fugging job, as much as I want to live life like some carefree person, I have responsibilities too! Can't possibly just take off as and when I want. Plus my shop only has me and Audrey around, if she doesn't open the shop, I have to. So can you all just understand that as much as I want to be and asshole and skip work like before I can't. Because if the shop doesn't open, I'm at fault & I'll get blacklisted?
It's annoying when my mum keeps rubbing it in my face that everyone was present but me. You think I don't want to be there? You think I want to ignore grandpa needs of me being around? Fuck, really. This is why I hate talking to her. She never gets me. Absolutely nothing I do pleases her. I don't get a job she says I'm wasting my life at home being a couch potato, so I go out, then she say I don't spend time with the family. I get a job and she says I don't care. What logic is this?
Getting on my nerves seriously. Any free time I have I make sure I'll go find grandpa, and I definitely don't need you to nag me to know that. You don't even know how I feel, I don't expect you to know that I care. From day 1, your words to me are "I don't care about anyone but myself" and "I only think for myself" and "I'm self-centered". I just find no reasons to talk back because clearly you don't understand me at all!
Still, I'm not going to let you affect me, I'm gonna visit grandpa when I can, and I love him. Your thoughts and comments have no bloody effects on me anymore. I'm pretty sick of being accused of being someone I'm not. Telling people how I am? Please get to know me first.
Okay, chilled. Heading over to RP for late lunchie with Pokka & Cheiry tomorrow then visit grandpa. That's my plan. Not gonna give no shit about what others want from me for now. Talk all you want. Kinda miss nick pretty bad. No messages, no calls and no meetups. I bet some people feel my pain right now. Well, friday is nearing so I get to see him and spent extra time with him. Happygirl94! Hopefully things will start going smoothly and even though it seems like things have hit rock bottom and I have people in my life who totally don't understand me, I hope my days would start cheering up. Tired of feeling upset or depressed.
Sometimes, I really want to let you know mum, I hang with my friends more than you is because you never ever say anything nice about me.. You comment on my without getting to know me & you tell the whole world what a bitch I am. You make everyone think I'm self-centered and humiliate me every single time. So yes, i'm exhausted with so much going and with you. Fine by me if you want to continue thinking this way about me, I wanna be happy. That's my main goal in life, I do not want you as an obstruction either.
