Chinese New Year 2012

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! Laughs, I know I haven't been blogging because I damn lazy. Okay I know damn pig but I can't be bothered to because my life damn boring.

Currently rotting in school now because there's nothing to do at all! And guess what? I'm playing pokemon, yes I kinda figured that I really need a life. So how has everyone cny been? How are the angpows collection this year? Haha.

Haven't been lucky lately considering that I've lost like 2 days in a row! My gosh! Went Songwei's place yesterday to hang with seeling, sw, jona & young. Was pretty fun. My reaction when i went there was epic. Cause his condo was located at some ulu terraces place. So i was thinking like EH HE STAY BIG BIG HOUSE AH! Only to realise his condo is located among the terrace, DIAOOOOO! 

Meeting young & amanda later at Bishan, woah. I actually just wants school to end soon. I have no idea why the hell am I here actually. Not even doing anything. Just here to connect some cables and nua. I'm still considering if it will be okay if I just fail this and get better grades for the rest. Aikes, this is really pissing. 

Okay, back to pokemon now! BYE! Will blog soon, I PROMISE! 

I won't give up

Hello! Okay, making the effort to blog even when sometimes I have no mood or nothing to blog. Been MC-ing lately and finally going back to school tomorrow. Excited? Hmm not really. I swear I feel I am wasting my time in school. But fuck, I'm leaving in a couple of weeks so just tolerate till it's over. Anyway school fees has been paid for already and if I didn't go, that would be a big waste of money too.

So what have I been doing lately? Simple, wake up eat sleep then meet Nicholas, continue sleeping and the cycle repeats. Oh not forgetting the fact that I am eating like a freaking pig. Yes I've put on so much weight I'm afraid to look at myself. Don't even have the gut to weigh myself to see how much I've gain.

OKAY! I know I very whiny but you people need to know it's not easy being a girl okay! You are either too fat or too short, and as for me I'm both fat & short which equals to I'm practically hopeless. I really need to lose some weight before the fat starts showing itself more.

Suggestions to losing weight people? Just facebook me, tweet me or sms/whatsapp/call me. ANYTHING! I just need help. Tired of being fat. I'm fine with being short, it's pretty cute sometimes. Okay, self praising. I need a life.

Hmm I haven't been really feeling that happy or cheerful lately but thank God for friends & love ones. Nicholas has been a dear lately. Thankful for everything.

Although it's friday the thirteenth tomorrow, I hope that as the days pass, everything will get better, everyone will be happier.

It was never meant to be like this

I'm gonna be an honest girl right now. I am not having the time of my life rn and I definitely am not happy. In fact, I'm dying a little more everyday. Sometimes you have to go through such extreme pain to know what life is all about. 

This one month has been the most torturous for me. I am faced up with people that I have to disappoint and a lot more. Let's just say, it's a very crucial period of my life that I've to learn to know how to face situation that may be life threatening and very hurtful emotionally to me and the people around me. 

To think that I'm only seventeen, I feel that I've gone through enough at this age. And what I really do hope that a rocky start means a brighter future for me. 

P.S./ everyone like so lazy to blog nowadays and everyone is vlogging. Might be doing it too cause I wanna keep my blog alive eh.

Tragedy strikes & all you can do is watch

Okay I had a really bad start to this year but I really don't wish to elaborate any further cause thinking about it kills me bad enough. But after I'm all over with this, I really just wanna live my life to the fullest. It hard to feel happy or fine in fact, but all these shit is just part and parcel of life.

Never in my seventeen years of life did I imagine a life so tough. I really hate the fact that I was brainwashed by fairytales, where all bad things just fade off in a couple of hours or days, then boom, happily ever after. What is the invention of fairytales for? To give us a harder time to face the real world when we grow up? It's crap, seriously.

Well, stop being negative. On the bright side, I'm leaving RP for good. Yes, it's confirmed. No more RP and stupid programming, really just gonna focus on being best friend with my calculator and read numbers like they are my own kids.

I'm not really prepared for the nightmare, but I would rather suffer going through numbers than coding. Math beats programming hands-down.

& Big Thanks To My Nicky Young

In this whole journey, I've been cranky and screaming my head off at him. But he stayed on and on till today. Lately, my mood has been way worse and he stood by me still, making me smile even when I'm always there to make sure he is lack of sleep and broke as hell. This boy have proven himself to be my man and I'm very thankful for that.

Who knows what is prepared for us in future but I do hope we would stay strong and pull through. No more drama, just you and me.

Thank you love

In school now, bored as hell and I really just want to go home. After giving it much thoughts, I'm really thinking of leaving Republic Polytechnic for good. Yes the friends are fun, the classes are entertaining at times. But the routine life & the modules are not what I want. I mean, I would rather suffer doing something I want to pursue in.

So giving it much thought, I think I'm going to talk to my cousin and see if talking to my mum about this would be worth it or not. Bottom line, I just really dislike how I am wasting time in Republic Polytechnic. I have no idea how is programming (Java codes) have anything to do with what I'll be doing in future. So I really have no idea why I'm still here. Hoping that my talk with my mum will work out. Wishing that for once they'll understand what I'm going through and maybe help me through it.

Okay, not gonna crap about stupid school stuff for the entire post, I'll probably bore you all to sleep anyway. So yeah, let's talk about something else. Lately, nicky has been a very sweet baby. Been pms-ing really badly and whining like a baby ad my darling boy has been super nice by cheering me up instead of pms-ing on me too! Great change from him since last year.

Yes, I'm pretty confident about fulfilling this year new year resolution of a peaceful & happy relationship with young! Super happy (: BUT I have this feeling that he wouldn't make it to my school in time to fetch me later. So I'll probably be the one going to find him instead. Waiting for his blinking lights on my blackberry to appear so I can make sure he won't be late later!

I actually have a lot of things to post about but apparently after watching a video of aaron tan & steven lim what ever inspiration I have to post like suddenly disappear. I'm a singaporean myself, and I honestly feel super disgrace by people like them. And to think that this idiot, Steven Lim, has appeared on televisions & has the cheek to make music videos. Wow, really.

To think that youtube is also a worldwide thing, so yeah times infinite embarrassment to Singapore. With all the shitty things happening in Singapore, plus all these weirdo. Our reputation would drop like mad. Let's hope Singapore would do something about all of these soon.

I'm dead tired, shall stop ranting, whining or whatever. Napping time!

This is what we call life

Worried about thing i shouldn't be. Sometimes I wish i could be worry free. Being a kid feels way better, all you have to worry about is what is mummy going to cook for me later or what time is playtime. Why do we have to grow up so fast and face the world. Nobody gave us a heads up that the society would be screwed, nobody told us we have to go through hell to reach heaven.

Why were we brought up through happiness when we'll face hell soon enough. Well, this is what people call life. Where bitterness kicks in first then you enjoy the glory. But it isn't fair is it? Why is it some don't even have to try. Yet some have to go through crazy much to enjoy.

Well, I guess nobody's perfect, those that were brought up with everything they want would never know what life is. And those that were brought of with nothing would never know what it feels like to have everything in front of you.

I'm just going through a stepping stone in life but I wish to end it so fast. Nobody said it would be so tiring but what the heck, I'm halfway there. Let's continue, it's life after all.

So during every start of the year, there would always be a time for new year resolution. Though i never fail to forget them, having them still don't kill right. Here comes my list:
1. Be closer with daddy God. (Need to stop backsliding, doesn't mean I don't go to church means I shouldn't pray too.)
2. Have a great relationship and go through everything with maturity (Big no no to dramas please.)
3. To finish RP as soon as possible and get out of there. (It contributes shit loads to what I call hell.)
4. To continue living a life I'm comfortable with and confident to call it my own.
5. Visit my dear aunt more (Okay, i really love her to bits.)
6. Get myself organized then get a dog as companion (I'm damn bored at home.)
7. Stop all rivalry with anyone I have (I'm just really tired.)
8. Be everything I can to make anyone who is close to me happy.
9. Learn to save money. (I'm really needing this.)
*10. Always be happy. (I live my life for myself, so i guess that most important after all.)

Let's just keep it at ten this year. There's a lot for me already. I'm gonna try to make it happen this year. Gonna make a list. I don't want to waste my life away and start regretting like a fool again, been there done that.

Yes, tomorrow would be the start of the last term for year 1. Happy? Yes. Sad? Yes. Why? Cause I'm not prepared for what's ahead. Considering I'm already dying in year one with all the programming and networking, I'm terrified of what I have to face in year 2. But nonetheless, I'm gonna give it my best shot to complete this year without repeating. Praying hard.

That's all for today, gonna have my late night snacks and get ready for hell tomorrow. Goodnights!